FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE. STOP. DEPARTMENT H NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. STOP. INSIST THAT AMERICAN PLAYER CRIMINALS FROM SWAMP BE HELD IN OUR BEST GUEST GULAG PRIOR TO SUNDAY'S GAME. STOP. MUST NOT ALLOW ANOTHER LOSS OTHERWISE SEASON IS OVER. STOP.
QB -- KYLE ORTON THE PEOPLE'S QUARTERBACK
RB -- STEVEN JACKSON THE PEOPLE'S RUNNING BACK
RB -- DEANGELO WILLIAMS THE PEOPLE'S OTHER RUNNING BACK
WR -- DESEAN JACKSON THE PEOPLE'S WIDE RECEIVER
WR -- GREG JENNINGS THE PEOPLE'S WIDER RECEIVER
WR -- PERCY HARVIN THE PEOPLE'S WORST RETAINEE
TE -- VISANTHE SHIANCOE THE PEOPLE'S TIGHT END
K --- LARRY TYNES THE PEOPLE'S KICKER
D --- SAN DIEGO THE PEOPLE'S DEFENSE
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