Angola - El Alamein Bowl Lineup

Unfortunately, Angola does not have $1500 in our budget to hire someone of the stature of Shane Falco. But, we are honored to have one of our very own speak here today.

Please welcome Mr. Oswald Bates:

"Unfortunately, we could not impregnate everyone. It is simply beyond our colonic threshold. I believe it was Plato...No, excuse me, I mean Play-Doh...who stuck to the wall when he said one must not put one's transvestite in jeopardy if one is to become a cunning linguist. Hey, I ain't no venereal fuddrucker!"

Umm... yeah...

And now, on to the lineup:

QB Aaron Rodgers
RB Adrian Peterson
RB Jerome Harrison
WR Randy Moss
WR Brandon Marshall
WR Vincent Jackson
TE Jermichael Finley
PK Shayne Grahamm
DEF Cincinnati

Tie Breaker: Jason Campbell

Wetbacks El Alamein Bowl Lineup

For this momentus occasion, I have hired none other than the great Shane Falco to speak to the team to provide the motivation needed to win it all.



"Pain heels, chicks dig scars, glory...lasts forever."








(I guess $1500 doesn't get you much these days.)



And now, here is the El Alamein Bowl Lineup for your New Sasabe Wetbacks:

QB - Drew Brees
RB1 - Maurice James-Drew
RB2 - Ryan Grant
WR1 - Miles Austin
WR2 - Sidney Rice (DNP Mike Wallace)
WR3 - Austin Collie
TE - Brent "Tom" Celek
K - Nate "El Golpeador" Kaeding
DEF - Philly Eggles

Tiebreaker - Chad Henne

Wetbacks Division Championship Lineup

It hits me at 5:30a that:

OH SHIT, I DIDN'T POST THE REST OF MY LINEUP!!!

So Brees and Austin are out. And so goes my El Alamein Bowl chances.

Shit-piss-fuck-cunt-cocksucker-motherfucker-tits!!

I guess that's what I get for being Hispanic.



And now, here is the "FUCKING LATE" Division Championship Lineup for your New Sasabe Wetbacks:

QB - Chad Henne
RB1 - Maurice James-Drew (previously posted)
RB2 - Ryan Grant
WR1 - Hakeem Nicks
WR2 - Sidney Rice (DNP Johnny Knox)
WR3 - Austin Collie (previously posted)
TE - Brent "Tom" Celek
K - Nate "El Golpeador" Kaeding
DEF - Philly Eggles

Angola Divisional Championship Lineup (full)

QB Aaron Rodgers
RB Arian Foster
RB Adrian Peterson
WR Randy Moss
WR Reggie Wayne
WR Brandon Marshall
TE Fred Davis
PK Mason Crosby
Def Denver

tie breaker: Jason Campbell

Dreamin' Lineup Vs. New Sasabe

We need say no more. It's game time:

QB: Matt "Lovin' Ribs" Hasselbeck

RB: "Lucky" Pierre Thomas

RB: Reggie "Trimmin' Kim's" Bush

WR: DeSean "I"m Not LeSean" Jackson

WR: Jerricho "Forgotten One" Cotchery

WR: Derrick "Old Man" Mason DNP: Robert "TD" Meachem

TE: Vernon "Slappin' Shockey" Davis

PK: Garrett "Kicker" Hartley

DF: New Orleans "Counting on Mr. December" Saints

TieBreaker: Kyle "Raider Bashin'" Orton

Lots of Love

~Keira

Whoopass - Division Final lineup

One note to the reporter who provided the results of the previous weeks games:

BIGCANOV IS IN FRAKING MINNESOTA, AND NOT FRAKING WISCONSIN.

THE PACKER WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED IS FROM THAT FRAKING PLACE, AND THERE WAS CLOSE TO RIOTING IN THE STREETS WHEN PEOPLE IN LAKE WOBEGON SAW THAT BY-LINE.

On a calmer note, the people of Lake Wobegon, Bigcanov, and the surrounding areas of Stearns County, Minnesota wish our competitors all the best in their future endeavors. Now fraking die.

QB: Matt "Guy Noir is a freaking genius"Schaub
RB: Chris "As I said, give me 40 touches and we win" Johnson
RB: Jamaal "All you f*ckers are just in awe of my genius" Charles
WR: Andre "I score like Tiger" Johnson
WR: Marques "Give me the ball, and we don't lose" Colston
WR: Steve "I need to pad my Giants reception record" Smith
TE: Joel "Thank God people can't have a negative score" Dreessen
K: Ryan "Every point counts you kicker haters" Longwell
D: Minnesota "We have our way with criminals on houseboats" Vikings

Tie Breaker (in the highly unlikely event of a tie): Laurence "the Bills run defense sucks" Maroney

Hollywood Hispanics Support Dreamin'

With the announcement from Dreamin' HQ regarding the opening of a new Planet Hollywood in New Sasabe, a few guests turned out for the groundbreaking ceremony.

Stars of all ages came down to New Sasabe, exciting the crowd with nothing but waves and smiles. And yes, chicle was well-tipped.
Some of our younger crowd:

Jessica Alba visited, minus the Mini-Alba, minus her Fantastic Three.

Wow! An Alexis Bledel sighting. A rarity indeed! Welcome to the show Alexis.

A very subdued dressed Sofia Vergara revelled in the festive atmosphere, apparently looking for the pool.

Wow! Vanessa Marcil looking fantastic!

Salma Hayek in the house is always going to bring out the crowds. And damn, did she work the crowds!

You say you wanted some entertainment? Shakira and Christina Aguilera performed onstage together, and man, fantastic show, absolutely fantastic.

While the Dreamin' were throwing a fantastic, star-studded party welcoming all fans, Dreamin' and even the throngs of Wetback fans, converting to Dreamin' status as shirts, hats and jerseys were handed out.

We had our Equipment Manager Laura wander over the the "new and swanky" Mamacita's to check out their party.

Really, this was the best you could do?

Wetbacks Division Championship Lineup (Partial)

To combat the Dreamin's Planet Hollywood, Mamacita's has upgraded as well.



Unfortunately, the instant that the ground was broken for the Planet Hollywood, property values plummeted like Pam Anderson's neckline. The new and improved Mamacita's (i.e. running water) is now on the opposite side of Cruzar la Frontera Stadium.


And now, here is the DFL 2009-2010 Montgomery Division Championship (partial) lineup for your New Sasabe Wetbacks:


RB1 - Maurice James-Drew
WR3 - Austin Collie

Angola - Divisional Championship (partial)

WR Reggie Wayne

Dreamin' Announce NEW Planet Hollywood

Press Release from Dreamin' HQ- Hollywood Bowl

Today it was announced that the California Dreamin', along with a group of investors, are opening a new Planet Hollywood to better serve our fans.

Where?

Why, how about right next door to MAMACITA'S!? Yes indeed, our fans in New Sasabe need more than pictures in toilet bowls! We have heard the clamoring, and we have answered.


Now...Can't you see these two sites, side by side, co-existing for the fans of each team?
We sure can!
You are welcome, New Sasabe!

With Love

~Drew

Dreamin' Full Lineup vs. Horde

After a year of coaching upheaval, its back to basics for the Dreamin' in this years playoffs.
To lead the team this week, with our Head Coach role still empty, I, Drew Barrymore, announce as this weeks coach: Our GM:

Keira Knightley

arrayed in our finest Mongolian Battle Gear, inspiring our team this week against its division rival, the Horde.

And for this week, we are adding bulletin board material for the Horde, taunting them in a clean, sportsmanlike manner. For the Horde, I give you:

And now, our lineup for the battle this week:

QB: Tony "Mr. December" Romo
RB: Rashard "Cleveland Hater" Mendenhall (posted earlier this week)
RB: "Lucky" Pierre Thomas
WR: DeSean "Head Butter" Jackson DNP: Derrick Mason
WR: Nate "The Snake" Burleson
WR: Robert "Soaring Above The Falcons" Meachem
TE: Vernon "BenchWarmer" Davis
PK: Garrett "Kicker" Hartley
DF: Tennessee "I Like Mutton" Titans

Ugh. Tie Breaker. Matt Hasselbeck

That is all: To the victor, the spoils.

Love
~Drew

Horde Lineup - Week 14

QB - Peyton Manning (dns - Eli Manning)
RB - Knowshon Moreno
RB - Brandon Jacobs
WR - Chad Ochocinco (dns - Steve Breaston)
WR - Steve Smith
WR - Kevin Walter
TE - Antonio Gates
K - Matt Prater
DEF - New England

Tie Breaker - Eli Manning (Jay Cutler, if Eli starts in place of Peyton)

Celt's playoff lineup vs the 'Can

I guess just thinking about posting my lineup wasn't good enough... good thing I laid off the whiskey long enough to remember I actually had to submit a roster...

3rd times the charm? I guess that depends on how you look at it... on to the fun!!

With poor Mr. Ryan still hampered by a stubbed-toe, we will be starting our second string QB ( mainly because we have no choice) as well as starting the running back deemed 'least revolting option' by a panel of experts (ok, they were really the rest of the drunks at the bar, but it makes them feel better about themselves to be considered "experts" at anything, so we'll go with it) who reviewed our choices.

For our foray back to Stearns, we will put forth the following collection of studs and duds, hoping for more of the former and few, if any, of the latter...

QB Alex Smith
RB Frank Gore
RB Julius Jones
WR Wes Welker
WR Anquan Boldin
WR Donald Driver
TE Tony Gonzalez
KI Nick Folk
DEF San Diego Chargers

Ad Victorem Spolias

E~

Whoopass - Playoff lineup

Good luck!

QB: M. Schaub
RB: C. Johnson
RB: J. Charles
WR: A. Johnson
WR: M. Colston
WR: S. Smith (NYG)
TE: Dreessen
K: Longwell
D: Vikings

Dreamin' Partial Lineup

Ohhhooohhhooo...what do we have here? Sneaking into the playoffs- Da Dreamin"!
And, apparently, we have a player involved in a contest.
So, presenting tonight's lone player:

Brooklyn Decker

At Running Back: Rashard "Stompin' Brown" Mendenhall

thank you

Lynchburg JD's Week 13 lineup

GO CHIEFS!
GO CARDNIALS!
and how bout them WILDCATS!

Lynchburg calls out first dibs on any player that signs with the NFL with the name of "dns"....
What happened to using alcohol and epson salt to get ready for the game?

Week 13
QB: Kurt Warner (dns - Joe Flacco)
RB: DeAngelo Williams (dns - Justin Fargas)
RB: Ray Rice
WR: Calvin Johnson (dns - Devin Hester)
WR: Santana Moss
WR: Hines Ward
TE: Kellen Winslow Jr (dns - John Carlson)
K: Stephen Gostkowski
D: Pittsburgh

Dreamin' Lineup Week 13

Good morning Dreamin' Fans!
Our Guest Head Coach is prepared to announce our lineup for this final week showdown!
I give you:

Willa Ford

QB: Tony "Sexy Man" Romo
RB: Rashard "Minding the Hall" Mendenhall
RB: "Lucky" Pierre Thomas
WR: Michael "ShrimpBoy" Crabtree
WR: Derrick "Old Man" Mason
WR: Nate "The Snake" Burleson
TE: Jeremy "Two-Toned" Shockey
PK: Garrett Hartley DNP: John Carney
DF: New Orleans "Gamblin' Saints

Thank you all
Enjoy the Show

Love
~Willa

Celt's Week 13 Lineup

Aaahhh, another run at mediocrity... how thoroughly unfulfilling.

QB Alex Smith
RB Frank Gore
RB Jason Snelling
WR Wes Welker
WR Donald Driver
WR Jeremy Maclin
TE Tony Gonzalez
KI Nick Folk
DEF San Diego

E~

Russian Lineup Week 13

Can we make the playoffs?

Probably not, but at the very least we're going to put up a fight.

Ha ha, I am, of course, kidding.

/hates season
/wonders if he punched a gypsy in another life
/hates gypsies

QB - Phil Rivers
RB - Ricky Williams
RB - Marion Barber
WR - Santonio Holmes
WR - Percival Harvin
WR - Greg Jennings
TE - Greg Olsen
K - Robbie Gould
D - Atlanta

Angola - Week 13

QB Aaron Rodgers
RB LeSean McCoy
RB Adrian Peterson
WR Randy Moss
WR Reggie Wayne
WR Brandon Marshall
TE Jason Witten
PK Mason Crosby
Def Cincinnati Bengals

Criminals week 13 lineup

Nice job AZ football team. Some wild college games tonight.

QB: Tom Brady
RB: Lendale White
RB: Darren McFadden
WR: Patrick Crayton
WR: Torry Holt
WR: Roddy White DNS Muhsin Muhammed
TE: Dallas Clark
K: Rob Bironas
D: Chicago

Horde Lineup - Week 13

QB - Peyton Manning (DNS - Jay Cutler)
RB - Knowshon Moreno
RB - Matt Forte
WR - Chad Ochocinco
WR - Steve Smith
WR - Kevin Walter
TE - Antonio Gates
K - Matt Prater
DEF - New England

Wetbacks DFL Week 13 Lineup

3AM rise. At work 5 to 11. Out Holiday shopping until 3PM.

Just woke from hard-crash nap. Still tired as hell.

Then back at it again tomorrow (sans 3AM rise and work).

Still tired as hell.


And now, here is the DFL 2009-2010 Week 13 lineup for your New Sasabe Wetbacks:

QB - Drew Brees
RB1 - Maurice James-Drew
RB2 - Ryan Grant
WR1 - Miles Austin
WR2 - Sidney Rice
WR3 - Austin Collie
TE - Brent "Tom" Celek
K - Nate "El Golpeador" Kaeding
DEF - Philly Eggles


p.s. BEAR DOWN ARIZONA!!!

Whoopass - Week 13

Bye week in the balance

QB: Schaub
RB: C. Johnson
RB: J. Charles
WR: A. Johnson
WR: M. Colston
WR: M. Sims-Walker
TE: J. Dreessen
K: R. Longwell
D: Vikings

JackStomp Lineup

QB: Brett Favre
RB: Thomas Jones
RB: Stephen Jackson
WR: Terrell Owens
WR: Larry Fitzgerald
WR: Braylon Edwards
TE: Kevin Boss
K: Matt Stover
D: Green Bay