Wetbacks DFL Week 5 Lineup

The following is an entry from the personal journal of Cheech Marin ~

New Sasabe Wetbacks vs. California Dreamin', Round 1

*ding, ding*

Ah, it's always been good for me to come to California. It's where I am from (East Los, orrale), but these weirdos they have in Hollywood scare me. Sure, I've been around (and done) some bad shit, seen things that no human should ever see, but these Dreamers, ¡Jesucristo! There's less plastic on a Barbie doll.

And let's take a look at the "winning" record for Cali. Through the first four games, they have faced Alameda, The Horde, Lynchburg, and the Rev, teams with a combined 5-11 record. Now, let's take out the fact that The Horde is 3-1. This leaves the California Dreamin' with 3 "impressive" wins over teams with a combined record of 2-10. 2. AND. 10. So really, what has Cali proven other than they can lose to good teams and win against hopeless ones? Sorry, no impression left here.

The New Sasabe Wetbacks have outscored Cali by 52 points (overall). This fact cannot be denied. Studs all around, baby. As far as points go, let's delve a little further. When looking at our common games (Horde, JDs, Russia), The Dreamin' have scored 248 points and have allowed 239 points. The Wetbacks have scored 269 points and have allowed 208 points. This means that New Sasabe has scored 21 more points so far and allowed 31 less points. Very nice.

And what, pray tell, do all these calculations and impressive stats mean?

That we'll lose.



And now, the DFL Week 5 lineup for your New Sasabe Wetbacks:

QB - Drew Brees
RB1 - Marshawn Lynch
RB2 - Ryan Grant
WR1 - Chris Chambers
WR2 - Lance Moore
WR3 - Amani Toomer
TE - Jason Witten
K - Jason "El Golpeador" Hanson
DEF - Baltimore