MOSCOW --- Despite an official petition from Department H to declare the DFL regular season officially over and begin the playoffs this week, it appears that the Commissioner's Office has declared that the league will in fact play out the remaining 12 games on the schedule before starting the playoffs.
"Not good for us," said Russia head coach *REDACTED IN THE INTEREST OF STATE SECURITY*. "Frankly, the more games we play the worse we get, if the last ten years are any indication."
The official Pravda injury report also mentioned that the Revolution's quarterback roster was now effectively down to 1, thanks to injuries to Jake Delhomme and Kevin Kolb. Despite the fact that they probably weren't going to be any good this year anyway, that is not expected to stop Department H from blaming the inevitable 4-9 season record on them.
QB --- Kyle "The People's Quarterback" Orton
RB --- Steve Jackson
RB --- DeAngelo Williams
WR --- Pierre Garcon
WR --- DeSean Jackson
WR --- Greg Jennings
TE ---- Visanthe Shiancoe
K ----- Larry Tynes
D ----- San Diego
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