Russian Lineup Week 12

Ahem.

We here at the Revolution front office would like to announce as positive a statement as we can muster at this time.

We are 5-6, which is approximately 4 wins over where we thought we'd be at this time of year. We can still make the playoffs for only the second time in team history. We implore the Rommel division to win every single one of their games this weekend, with the notable exception of Bigcanov, whom we intend to beat like a rented goalie.

This means Jackstomp has to enter a lineup that doesn't include Hulk Hogan's daughter.
Celts have to start someone other than people named "Sage" or "Tyler" at QB.
Alameda needs to start their least-injured running backs, and forget Javon Walker is on the roster.
Angola must... well, we're not exactly sure what Angola has to do, since we still can't figure out that team.

Either way, the message is: win your damn games, with the aforementioned exception of Bigcanov, who --- and we cannot stress this enough --- really should think about rewarding their team with a vacation this Sunday. We'll even cover the expenses.

QB --- Phil Rivers
RB --- Steve Slaton
RB --- Willie Parker (DNS Ben Jarvus Green Ellis)
WR --- Larry Fitzgerald
WR --- Greg Jennings
WR --- Wes Welker
TE ---- Owen Daniels
K ----- Robbie Gould
D ----- Dallas