One note to the reporter who provided the results of the previous weeks games:
BIGCANOV IS IN FRAKING MINNESOTA, AND NOT FRAKING WISCONSIN.
THE PACKER WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED IS FROM THAT FRAKING PLACE, AND THERE WAS CLOSE TO RIOTING IN THE STREETS WHEN PEOPLE IN LAKE WOBEGON SAW THAT BY-LINE.
On a calmer note, the people of Lake Wobegon, Bigcanov, and the surrounding areas of Stearns County, Minnesota wish our competitors all the best in their future endeavors. Now fraking die.
QB: Matt "Guy Noir is a freaking genius"Schaub
RB: Chris "As I said, give me 40 touches and we win" Johnson
RB: Jamaal "All you f*ckers are just in awe of my genius" Charles
WR: Andre "I score like Tiger" Johnson
WR: Marques "Give me the ball, and we don't lose" Colston
WR: Steve "I need to pad my Giants reception record" Smith
TE: Joel "Thank God people can't have a negative score" Dreessen
K: Ryan "Every point counts you kicker haters" Longwell
D: Minnesota "We have our way with criminals on houseboats" Vikings
Tie Breaker (in the highly unlikely event of a tie): Laurence "the Bills run defense sucks" Maroney
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