California Lineup, Championship Game

Rick Rick Rick Rick...baby...honey...you realize Kristy is THE original vampire slayer, right? Buffy? You wouldn't last 2 seconds. Go try that shit on the wimpy tv version.

As for the lineup that will keep us in the promised land, of beautiful California...here is what we offer. To you. My foe. Angola. And the world. Outside of Hollywood.

QB: Matt "Future Seattle Mayor" Hasselbeck
RB: Lendale "Lovin' the So Cal Weather" White
RB: Edgerrin "Leapin' Like Carr" James
WR: Braylon "No Snow" Edwards
WR: TJ "" Houshmanzadeh
WR: Plaxico "Non Practice Stud" Burress DNP: Mr. Derrick Mason
TE: "F'ing" Owen Daniels
PK: Rob "Kicker" Bironas
DF: New England "People Picked Miami to Beat Us?" Patriots
Tiebreaker: Mr. Kurt Warner

And, Angola, just for you, our halftime show will be the Pussycat Dolls. Barrah, please keep the Rick restrained.

Thank you

Love
~Drew

Angola Lineup - DFL Championship

QB	Tony Romo
RB	Adrian Peterson
RB	LaDanian Tomlinson
WR	Anthony Gonzalez
WR	Greg Jennings
WR	Brandon Marshall
TE	Kellen Winslow
PK	Nick "Mr. Irrelevant" Folk
DST	Seattle

A Memo from Rick James

You all had best be ready! Rick James is a coming to Cali and its goin’ ta be an ass spankin’ marathon! Even Opie’s pasty, freckled ass ain’t gonna be safe! Oh, and I got news for Mr. Lar’unce. The only “69” around here is gonna be Rick James and Kristy Swanson! Ah, yeeeeah let me run down Rick James’ checklist ta make sure she got what Rick James likes:

Spankable ass – check
Tig ‘ol bitties – check
She a white bitch – oh hell yeah, check
Breathing(optional) – check

See you soon Miss Swanson.

I’m Rick James, bitch!

Who'da Thunk It

Hello again from Lavish Lawrences Sports Book and Casino, based in the fine scenic jungle hills of Thailand.

What is this we see in the DFL? Is this 2006? Do I have a time machine? Where is my cappucino...

How in the hell did Angola and California reach the finals? What happened to the powerhouses? Where is the deli guy?

So, down go the favorites, Lynchburg and the Celts.
And we once again get Angola v California. Only this time with a spin. A Home Championship game for California? Whose idea was this? Oh, that's right, the Commissioner. We, the oddsmakers, hate the commissioner for that.

For Angola to win:

1. The Barrah MUST turn Rick James loose. He may be worse than paparazzi, so may strike some terror stalking the coaching staff of California.
2. Tony Romo MUST have the Pink #9 in the stands. This steals some California juju.
3. Score more points than California.

For California to win:
1. Spend both Friday and Saturday night at Koi, or Hyde, or Mr. Chow's, take the players with you, and live it up as best you Hollywood types do! Try the tuna roll!!
2. Do not allow Ed Lauter or James Cromwell into the stadium, or to visit the Angola playahs. This will only server to inspire them and to distribute pain out on the field.
3. Score more points than Angola.

And now......what you have all been waiting for....Lawrence Sports Book picks, as the winner of this years El-Alamein Bowl-----------

Round 2 goes to: California. 112-69

Please note that Lawrences Sports Book totally supports gambling, and encourages all to contribute to my coffers.

Memo to Rick James:

We, the Cali "Bitches", would like to inform you that we are ALWAYS shaking in our thongs. We also have a little jiggle in the breasts too.

Please continue to enjoy your stay at Angola, and enjoy your own form of jiggle, while ogling our press release photos that hang on your wall.

Love
~Drew

REMATCH!!!

Those Cali bitches had better be shaking in their thongs!


Settle down Rick James.

Dreamin Lineup Playoffs Week 2

First, we would all like you to know that the training this week is going very well. Lindsay has been in rare form, I, Drew, recall some of my wild glory days, and Milla, fresh off her first baby, is smokin' hot!

Secondly, we would like to thank our best will-wishers the Wetbacks, for the fabulous motivational and supportive words during this week in our almost-battle with the Horde. For your contributions, discount tickets for the Three Amigos show being put on in New Sasabe this weekend!

Lastly, this weeks lineup against the drunk bastards of Lynchburg. Such a sty to play in, but then again, not everything can be as beautiful as Hollywood!

QB: Matt "Passing Like the Autobahn" Hasselbeck
RB: Edgerrin "Saints D" James
RB: Lendale "Run Run Run Beeytotch" White
WR: TJ "Housh" Houshmanzadeh
WR: Braylon "No BJ this week!!" Edwards
WR: Plaxico "The Legs Fine" Burress
TE: Eric "Maybe I can catch that TD this week" Johnson
PK: Josh "Kicker" Brown
DF: New England "We Love the Jets" Patriots
Tiebreaker: Kurt "Saints D" Warner

Thank you
Love
~Drew

Angola Lineup - Div. Championship Game

QB	Tony Romo
RB	Adrian Peterson
RB	LaDanian Tomlinson
WR	Anthony Gonzalez
WR	Greg Jennings
WR	Brandon Marshall
TE	Kellen Winslow
PK	Nick "Mr. Irrelevant" Folk
DST	Seattle

Playoff lineup for Lynchburg

QB Brett Farve
RB: Joseph Addai
RB Kevin Jones
WR: Terrell Owens
WR: Joey Galloway
WR: Chris Henry
TE: Chris Cooley
K: Shayne Graham
Def: Baltimore

TieBreaker: John Kitna

Celt's Rommel Division Championship Lineup

In this up-and-down season, it's truly fitting that a sub-.500 team has a chance at the El Alamein Bowl.

I will do my best to not let that happen, and I will also try and remember that Monday is an actual day in the week.

To try and give our players a sense of belonging, we have named them all as honorary Celt's for this week's game, and have set a practice schedule consisting of multiple screenings of Braveheart, In the Name of the Father, and Green Street Hooligans in between walkthroughs and workouts.

And now, the starting lineup for your, 2007, Fighting Celt's of Ireland....

At quarterback, 6'-6", 229 lbs out of Portland, OR: Derek "Out of Nowhere" McAnderson
At running back, 5'-10", 203lbs from Washinton, DC: Brian "Awesome Hands" O'Westbrook
Also at running back, 5'-11", 218lbs out of Tallahassee, FL: Kolby "Lord Help Me" McSmith
At wide receiver, 6'-4", 210lbs out of Rand, WV: Randy "Proof is in the Puddin'" MacMoss
Also at wide receiver, 6'-3", 216lbs from Baltimore, MD: Bryant "I Finally Get a Start" MacJohnson
And finally, the wide receiver you've all been waiting for, 6'-2", 221lbs, all the way from Miami, FL: Dwayne "I'm Bigger'n You" McBowe
Starting at tight end, 6'-5", 251lbs out of Torrance, CA: Tony "The Great" O'Gonzalez
Tonight's kicker, from St Louis, MO: Neil "Mr Predictable" McRackers
And our starting defense, those ever-unpredictable rascals from ragtown, the San Diego MacChargers....

Should this be our last venture in the DFL until the '08 draft, then to all, it's been fun. And should we return for next week's championship match, then, well, it's to be expected.

Slante!!


Ah yes,... the dreaded "tie-breaker" tag will fall upon the newly acquired, Tarvaris "Mr Irrelevant" O'Jackson

Temporary Trainer Hired for Lynchburg Game

We here at the Dreamin' offices realize that this weeks upcoming game will be difficult. Lynchburg: most points, most wins, and most alcohol consumption.

We have found at times that, apparently, the Lynchburg mobs spike our drinks, spike our food and hell, worst of all, spike our clothes with the Lynchburg Lemonade.

We have found the need to bring in a big gun this week to still be athletic, talented and ubah, in these times of alcohol related happenstances when one visits Lynchburg.

Ergo, this week, we will be travelling with Lindsay Lohan, Queen of Alcohol!
And don't let the "clinic" fool you, it was only a cover. She is also leaving the anklet at home.

Show us the way girl, show us the way!

Thank you
~Love
Drew

Whoopass - Wildcard lineup

Decisions, Decisions. Do I start Eli instead of Brady after 2 sub-par weeks in a row? These tough choices in fantasy football could give one ulcers. Good luck.

QB: Brady
RB: Barber
RB: Jones-Drew
WR: A. Johnson
WR: Stallworth
WR: Battle (DNP Wade)
TE: Lee
K: Nedney
D: Vikings

Dreamin Lineup Playoffs Week 1

NO FAIR!!! WE WANT to be in the PRETTY BOWL!!!!!!!!!
Pfft...we ARE the pretty bowl!

And sometimes that toilet bowl looks good too! After a very very very long night at Koi.

We have a rematch with the Horde. Round 3 this year! And its the tie-breaker.

And we have a lineup to post.

QB: Matt "Cardinal Slayer" Hasselbeck
RB: Edgerrin "Seahawk Slayer" James
RB: Frank "Viking Slayer" Gore
WR: TJ "" Houshmanzadeh
WR: "BJ" Braylon Edwards
WR: DJ "" Hackett DNP "PJ" Plaxico Burress
TE: "EJ" Eric Johnson
PK: Josh "kicker" Brown
DF: New England "Home Team" Patriots

Thank you to all of the beautiful people for this nomination, I wanted to start my list at....oh oh, wrong place.

Love
~Drew

Angola Lineup - Wildcard Game

Or in this case the Pretty Boy Bowl, Brady vs. Romo. May the best smile win.

QB	Tony Romo
RB	Adrian Peterson
RB	LaDanian Tomlinson
WR	Greg Jennings
WR	Calvin Johnson
WR	Brandon Marshall
TE	Kellen Winslow
PK	Nick "Mr. Irrelevant" Folk
DST	Buffalo

Horde Lineup Playoffs Week 1

The Horde's Owner has asked that I post a lineup for him via a phone call, as there are some issues with logging in.

Here is the full lineup:

QB: Carson Palmer
RB: Willis McGahee
RB: Earnest Graham
WR: Chad Johnson
WR: Kevin Curtis
WR: Isaac Bruce
TE: Antonio Gates
PK: Kris Brown
DF: Chicago

Sincerley,
Mr. Pickens

Playoff Time!!

Hello Sports Fans

Welcome to the yearly fest known as DFL Playoff Time

What we see this year is another in a long line of:

Strong Montgomery Contenders
Weak Rommel Contenders

Ah yes, some things never change.

Lets rate the teams:

#6 Seed: Angola Penitentiary Playahs

Making its usual appearance in the playoffs, Angola enters with a sub .500 record, and coming in on a down note, losing to a lowly Alameda team. Barrah was on fire all week. No really, literally. We hear there was a riot in Cell Block A, and Barrah was lit on fire attempting to calm the rioters. Only the presence of Rick James soothed the crowd, with a beautiful ballad about smooth round asses and spanking. We understand Barrah will be available this week for their confrontation with Bigcanov Whoopass.

#5 Seed: Nomadic Mongol Horde

Playing from an unusual position in the playoffs, the Horde comes rolling into the playoffs on a good note, having beaten the Dreamin' last week, only to face them one more time, in an elimination match. Genghis likes elimination matches. He once played table tennis with Chinese champion Hsu Na, and upon losing the match, proceeded to insert said table tennis paddles as Hsu's new arms. Now that's the kind of sportsmanship we love to see here! Cutthroat and diehard! Fantastic!!

#4 Seed: Bigcanov Whoopass

A low key, one-dimensional team. If Tom Brady does well, they win. If Tom Brady does not do well, they will lose. Why is this? Because the rest of Guy Noir's team usually forgets to show up for game time appearances. However, we would like to add that they are great for showing up to mall appearances, Elks Club functions and the occasional bingo parlour suaree. We also understand that Shaun Alexander is hosting the 75th VFW Bingo Bungee Party this weekend.

#3 Seed: California Dreamin

The only reason California is the #3 seed is because the #2 seed has to be a division winner. Rumours abound on this team about upcoming coaching changes, but has not affected the play of the team, as they head into the post season matching their record of last season. Magic? Most say no. None of the Charmed cast is a member of the coaching staff. Lets just hope the coaching staff decides to stick around for these games, and not head off to Vegas, or surfing, or Betty Ford.

#2 Seed: Fighting Celts of Ireland

What team shows up for their first game next week? Anyone's guess. The team that smashed their opponents 132-16, or the team that lacked any semblance of a playoff team and losing to the bottom of the barrel in the Jackstomp. Wait? Did we just mention the Jackstomp in a playoff write-up? Wow, a first time for everything.

#1 Seed: Lynchburg JD's

Lawrences pick to win the Championship. We do not see this team losing. Rolling through the Montgomery Division for the entire year, the JD's also rolled right through the Rommel Division. Leading in standings, leading in points, leading in many other stats, the "Drunk Bastards" have boozed their way to the #1 seed. We are not shocked the boozers lead the way in the DFL, as Lawrences Sports Book, Lawrences Casino and Lawrences Saloon Hall has been a full supporter of the JD's, and let me tell you, this team makes a great customer too!

This weeks picks:

Bigcanov 88
Angola 102

California 127
Horde 101

Good luck to all
Lawrences Sports Book

Jackstomp Lineup

Same lineup as last week..... 'cuz it don't really matter. :(

QB: Ben Roethlisberger
RB: Stephen Jackson
RB: Brandon Jacobs
WR: Reggie Wayne
WR: Hines Ward
WR: Lee Evans
TE: Zach Miller
K: Sebastian Janikowski
D: Indy

Dreamin Lineup Week 13

So, let me get this right:

If I win, I play the Horde next week.
If I win and Lynchburg loses, I don't.
If I lose, I play the Horde next week.
In these scenarios, I don't play the Wetbacks, so I guess its a win-win situation!!

QB: Kurt "Passing the Ball With My Right Foot" Warner
RB: Frank "I Remember This Game Now" Gore
RB: Edgerrin "Hank" James
WR: TJ "No Racketeering Charges Here" Houshmanzadeh
WR: Braylon "Machine Man" Edwards
WR: DJ "Spin Doctor" Hackett
TE: "F'ing" Owen Daniels
PK: Rob "Kicker" Bironas DNP: Josh "Kicker" Brown. Did I....Did I just DNP a kicker? Well Holy Shit!!
DF: New England "Eat The Boller" Patriots

Have a lovely day all
Love
~Drew

Criminals week 13

I was just looking at my record -- just about every game I lost, my opponent scored at least 100 points. Man, the rest of the DFL had it in for me this year.

QB: Peyton Manning
RB: Clinton Portis
RB: Justin Fargas
WR: Torry Holt
WR: Santana Moss
WR: Bobby Engram
TE: Dallas Clark
K: Jeff Wilkins
D: Tennessee

Horde Lineup - Week 13

QB - Carson Palmer
RB - Willis McGahee
RB - Earnest Graham
WR - Chad Johnson
WR - Roy Williams
WR - Kevin Curtis
TE - Antonio Gates
K - Kris Brown
DEF - Washington