Uproar in Whoopass country

Stearns County, MN - The Chatterbox Cafe was abuzz this morning with discussion about the DFL's annual draft over the weekend. In particular, conversation focused on the Whoopass selection of the Packer Who Shall Not Be Named as a member of the team. "It's a travesty, a mockery,... a traveshamockery," announced Mildred Holstien, head of the local Ladies Auxiliary. "I would just as soon see one of my children paint the statue of the Unknown Norwegian a russkie color of red than have the Packer play for the Whoopass, you betcha." Clarence Bunson, one of the owners of Bunson Motors in Lake Wobegon, was equally emphatic, "F*CK THE OWNER, F*CK GUY NOIR, and F*CK THE PACKER WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED!" A daily prayer vigil has begun at Our Lady of Perpetual Responsibility Catholic Church, in the hopes that prayers, lamentations, and supplication can buy back the Owner's soul.

Site Update

Hello all

I believe I have updated all of the site to reflect the following:

Team Name Change- including page updates and scheduling updates
New Rosters
Retainee Values for next year
Full Draft Results

If you find something I have missed, please let me know and I will get to updating it.

Lackey

TRADE: Californa sends DeSean Jackson to Russia for Russia's 4th round pick in 2010 draft

RED SQUARE ---- White smoke appeared pouring out of Department H's headquarters this morning, as Pravda announced a pre-draft trade with California.

"With the acquisition of Comrade Jackson, the Revolution are clearly poised to return Mother Russia to the height of global supremacy. Sending the 4th round pick to the disgusting decadent Hollywood capitalists is a bold move that should be applauded by all true patriots. "

Reporters outside Red Square were unable to confirm or deny rumors that Department H had plans to activate whomever the Dreamin' picks at the 4 spot as a sleeper agent.

NEW HEAD COACH! NEW WR COACH!

California Dreamin' Press Release, August 26.

The California Dreamin' are proud to announce that the two vacant coaching positions have been filled.

Our new Wide Receivers Coach: Allison Stokke


Allison is a star athlete at the University of Cal, track and field.



Our new Head Coach is a legacy. She wanted the job. She asked for the job. And she interviewed spectacularly. She also came highly recommended, from our original and beloved first head coach, the infamous Goldie Hawn.



May we present: Kate Hudson

With our fresh additions and random guest speakers, we look forward to a great year!

Love, Drew

Change for 2010-2011 Season

Hi all,

Sadly, as of this writing we have been unable to locate Alameda Criminals owner Ian Holcomb despite repeated attempts to contact him. As such, former New Sasabe owner (from back when they were known as the Dublin Divas) Ian O'Malley will be taking the reigns of Alameda this season.

Please extend to him the courtesies and well-wishes customary to other owners in the league, which is to say insane trade offers, mockery of his attire, and references to his alcoholism.

Welcome!

Commish

DFL 2010 Draft

As the Celt's will be drafting from the incredible Monarch Grand Vacation resort in fabulous Las Vegas, we are unsure of the internet capabilities.

We will be on AIM w/ the screen-name OrbitalAZ, and I have a Verizon wireless air-card that "should" work just fine, if needed. Rest assured, if I lose connectivity for any length of time, I will call The Commish and/or Lackey until I can get connection restored, so as not to hold up the draft.

May you all enjoy the festivities and ever-wonderful Dobbs-dogs. I will sorely miss the gathering as I draft from my poolside cabana, w/ only Samuel Smith's ale and 10-yr-old Bushmill's to ease the loss. (wow, it was difficult to type that load of hooey)(not the least bit believable, was it?)

Good luck to all.
(I'll drink to that...)